February 25, 2021

Brought up to be ashamed if sexually harassed

topic:	Women's rights
located:	Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia
editor:	Katarina Panić

Last month, Serbian presenter Jelena Obućina was about to host the evening news. The start was unusual. After a good evening, she fell silent. The awkward silence lasted 15 seconds - for TV standards, an eternity. 

Afterwards, Obućina called the audience not to ask the victims of gender-based violence ever again why they were silent for so long. It was her reaction to top regional news about an actress who just revealed she was raped by a well-known acting teacher when she was 17. 

The incident had encouraged almost five thousand girls and women from Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia and Montenegro to speak out ever since. 

One day, I got a message from a woman, Nataša (an alias), who decided to share her story. Perfect match, I thought, since I just entered the UN Women BiH campaign "Let's turn off violence against women and girls together," which sought to strengthen the capacities of media experts for responsible reporting on gender-based violence.

The very next day we met in a cafe. Nataša had a story similar to many others: she was sexually harassed for over 15 years at her work place. She thought it was her fault as she was a divorced, single mother, all alone, without male protection, and therefore it goes without saying that all kinds of men may target her.

"I wrote down the notes. I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to be sure I won't forget anything," she said, taking a piece of paper out of her bag. 

At first, she insisted on anonymity. I recorded the interview on my voice recorder - an hour and 24 minutes. I made a picture of her from her back. En face, too, but I showed her how this one is going to be blurred. 

A few days later, she came to my place to add what she recalled meanwhile. She also used to write some details via messenger from time to time. Some ten days later, I filed her a draft. The day after, she came to me again, saying she is not the one who should hide, and she wants to be quoted under her full name.  

"I don't like snow. I really, really don't. But I went out yesterday after I read the story. I walked through the snow all day long. I was completely lost," she said. 

While the story has been preparing for publishing, her son's reasons came out of the blue.

"Please, forgive me. He is going to start a small business here. He also wants to get married. He is afraid he could have some problems if I go public with my experience. He said something like, ‘don't row the boat now. Wait until I managed’," Nataša apologised to me.  

Image by Antoine Schwoebel. 

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